Notes from the side of a volcano

It's a Dirty Weekend Jim ..

but not as we know it.

A few months ago The Husband met up with a successful ad man who wanted to pick his brains about some things. Clearly the advice given was useful and the consultancy fee charged by The Husband piddlingly small, as the ad man offered him a free weekend in a cottage on the large dairy farm he owns up the coast.

At the time it was the end of winter and Daughter-One had her exams looming, so we set this past weekend for our "farmstay experience", knowing by then it would be (officially at least) summer.

Unfortunately since then the sun has only been sighted about three times. This is not an exaggeration. October was the coldest since World War Two and since November was, if anything, even greyer and colder, I imagine it was setting records of its own.

So Friday dawned, and it was as grey and miserable as every day before it. Daughter-One, a remarkably intelligent child, made alternative plans.

This is what I did to prepare for the weekend away:

- Took a day out of my work schedule to do the supermarket shop since we would be away on the usual day (and The Husband had spent ALL the week in Wellington, only returning on Friday morning)

- baked a gluten free banana cake to take with us

- Packed undies, warm clothes, summery clothes (got to be optimistic), swimming togs (OK, call me crazy), boots, raincoat, sunblock, hot water bottle, toothbrush, hairbrush, PJs, bed toys, medicines for Daughter-two

- Packed undies, warm clothes, summery clothes and swimming gear (see above) etc etc for myself

- Organised Daughter-One for our absence

- Downloaded maps and info from the farmstay site

- cooked an early dinner so we could get away at a reasonable time (ie not too close to Daughter-Two's bedtime of 7.30 pm)

- looked outside at the unceasing torrential rain and wondered WHY we were doing this

Here's what The Husband did to prepare for the trip:

- came home at 7pm, threw his toothbrush and swimming shorts into the suitcase and said "are we ready to go then?"

He then followed this up by saying, "I'm just waiting to hear back from the woman at the farm. The main road in is flooded, but she's going to ring back and tell me an alternative route".

To pass the time, we turned on the evening news, which informed us that the State Highway north was blocked by three landslips.

I then unpacked the toothbrushes, the PJs etc etc.

The next morning we tried again, after first rushing off to take Daughter-Two to her drama group dress rehearsal. We thought we may as well, since we were still in town. Then we headed up the coast. We had just got over the Harbour Bridge and onto the motorway (freeway) when Daughter-Two began asking for her favourite bedtoy, Torchick.

It seems she had taken him out of the suitcase the night before, but no-one had put him back that morning.

"oh, oh, oh" she wailed. "I was so looking forward to this trip but now it is a misery. A misery!! Oh, oh, oh".

And on.

And on.

And on.

Clearly there was no way she was going to let this go and if there was any chance of an enjoyable weekend we were going to have to turn back and get blinking Torchick. Of course, we had to drive for another ten minutes before there were any motorway exits.

And, of course, there was an accident on the Harbour bridge so we were stuck in a traffic jam. As we sat there high above the harbour, with a steady stream of "Misery, it's just misery!How will I ever be able to sleep?" from the backseat, I looked out of the window at the sea below and really was sorely tempted. Fortunately the fact it looked so grey and cold was off-putting enough.

Finally, Torchick in hand, we made it to the farm.

It was very green.

Ever wondered why New Zealand is so green?

IT'S BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS RAINING!

The ad man wanted to show The Husband around the farm, so he turned up with a couple of quad bikes and some raincoats. It was, in parts, a veritable sea of mud and cow poo.

The Husband grew up on a dairy farm but I think it is fair to say, from the strained smile, he has absolutely no desire to return.

As for me, I look remarkably happy for someone who is about to get splattered from neck to toe with poo from one of those bovine bottoms right by my head.

Seriously, I was coated.

Daughter-two was thrilled after this to get to meet a hand-reared calf and lamb. They were called Piglet and Roo.

(I was Pooh I guess)

We retired back to our cottage and stripped off all our clothes and scrubbed down. Cooked dinner and put Daughter-Two to bed. Totally shattered after an hour spent jiggling about on the back of quad bikes.

The next morning we woke up and .....

It was summer!

Just like that.

We drove down some wonderful country roads, past some gorgeous native bush, to a country beach where we swam.

 

I don't think this referred to cameras, but I shot quickly and ran:

So before all this, I did manage to get some designing done!

here's what is new in store at Designer Digitals this week:

 
 
 

Feeling retro ......

It must have been meant - a happy meal that came with the pair of plastic glasses on the day she wore her new-to-her dress. Sadly 30 year old well-washed fabric wasn't up to bouncy Miss Tigger, and it was torn by the end of the day. Still, it only cost $2 ...

She spent the whole day complaining that she was cold, as well. Despite the cardigan and leggings. It's officially summer here in New Zealand tomorrow, but no-one told whoever is in charge of the weather.

The people at the "Christmas Wonderland" Christmas tree display were equally confused. It was all snowflakes and reindeer and snowmen..

Yet as we queued outside they were hopefully trying to sell cold bottled water, in recognition of the fact that we SHOULD have all been sweltering in t-shirts and sunglasses.

After a quick lunch, it was off to school for the "Family Fun Day and Christmas Picnic". Storm clouds or not , there was no chance of her turning down the chance of a bounce:

But there was no picnicking this year. At this rate, we'll all be wearing woolly jumpers and scarves on Christmas Day (of course part of me feels that  is how it should be, and I still miss the Christmas season in England).

Which brings me to what is new this week at Designer Digitals ....  a retro Christmas kit that comes in TWO versions. A traditional Christmas kit, and a fun special version for those who have holidays where it's warm and sunny.

Paperpacks are available too:

 

Plus templates:

Layouts:

 

photos ...

 

Here there be icebergs ....

Well, icebergs a couple of hundred miles off the coast of Southland and heading this way fast.

Fast by iceberg standards.

Which I guess is pretty slow.

But anyway, my point is that it is supposedly summer in a couple of weeks here in New Zealand but it has still been freezing. Today the sun did make a brief appearance however, so there is still hope.

Daughter-Two and The Husband have gone off on a school trip to the Howick historical village. The Husband wanted to be the Victorian bank manager but all I could find for him was a pair of braces from an op-shop and a spotty scarf to knot around his neck. So I handed them to him and said "sorry, you're the blacksmith". Daughter-Two looked absolutely adorable and very authentic in a dress my sister found, a mop cap I sewed for her and a tablecloth around her shoulders. Photos soon.

Meanwhile, the computer is playing up, the dog is vomiting, the architect is sending incomprehensible permit applications to me and I see it is clouding up again just as I was about to hang out the washing ...

two new templates in store at Designer Digitals this week:

 

Finally found a use for the dog ...

He makes a very good running companion.

 

Yes, I have decided to take up running. Bought the fancy shoes – they cost more than any other item of clothing or footwear I’ve bought - and have been dragging the dog out every morning this week. It’s amazing how much better it makes you feel, even if you wake up feeling ninety-nine as I have been lately. (Turns out that stomach bug was actually the auto-immune Crohn’s flaring up, or maybe it triggered off a flare up, but whatever, it’s a struggle to get up some days right now). But once I get moving it’s better and I figure if you can run then it can’t be too bad (apologies to Mam with the broken foot).

 

Running is the perfect exercise for me since I am chronically unco-ordinated but even I can usually manage to put one foot in front of the other without mishap.  Although no doubt I will one day trip over the dog (watch out for that in a future blog post). He also has a habit of stopping dead in his tracks when he wants to do a poo or he sees something he doesn’t like. (Things that do not, according to his small brain, compute – such as rubbish trucks picking up wheelie bins or fairy lights in trees).

 

Also this week I was watching the news when on came “my” story about Rodney Hide (our attention seeking local MP and ACT party leader). I was laughing so much I nearly fell off the chair. Because the day before I had been tootling about the net looking for a better local dentist, when I came across the endorsements page of a fancy dental practice and there was Rodney grinning like a maniac to show off his mouthful of refurbished and very white teeth. He looked like a cross between Jaws and Liberace.

 

So I clicked on my gmail window and flicked The Husband the link for a laugh, with the subject line “the man has no shame”. (Although I was kind of tempted by the idea of sending The Husband to the same place for a cheap deal in return for an endorsement since he could well do with a Hollywood smile a la Mr Hide).

 

The Husband, a chronic tweeter with a large following in the media and political world, then tweeted the link, and the next thing you know it was third item on the national evening news … since as a cabinet minister Hide is no longer allowed endorse any business.

 

Such is the modern information highway.

 

(Though, sorry Rodney, I never meant to get you into grief and actually the teeth look great).

 

And finally, this sweet kit came together this week. I think I must be wishing for Spring (it just doesn’t seem to be eventuating this year). You can find it at Designer Digitals:

 

 

Some layouts from me:

 

 

 

And some layouts from the team:

 

 

Even more new designs on sale now at Designer Digitals

The sale is still on at Designer Digitals, and there are more new products in store right now.

Here are my latest:

I haven't had a chance to create with the Jolie kit yet, but some of the team have:

I have had fun with the new templates, however:

 


 

 
 And the new Worn Edges (with retro photo effects) are fun too. This photo of Daughter-Two in Hawaii was just crying out for the retro look:

It's sale time at Designer Digitals!

It's all on sale NOW at Designer Digitals.  

Every regular item in the store is marked down 30%! No special coupons are need to receive the discount. There are 47 brand new items also marked down as well. This is the last store wide sale here at DesignerDigitals for 2009 so don't miss out!

The sale ends on Tuesday, November 10th at 6am EST.

Also, we will be having chats all day on Saturday with freebies every hour as well. You can join me at 6pm EST on Saturday (that's Sunday at 12 noon here in New Zealand!).

Lots of new products in store as well:

 

(And more coming on SUNDAY).

Following your gut feeling that your child is different

I made the mistake of clicking on a thread on the TradeMe message board yesterday. For once it wasn't death threats to The Husband. Rather, it was someone askingfor support from other parents with children on the autistic spectrum. The thread had been highjacked by people saying it was simply the "fashionable label" at the moment and was used for kids who were simply being kids (by people who "don't know what typical kid's behaviour is like"). I quickly left before my blood boiled over. Autism covers a very wide spectrum but is very distinctive and in my opinion is under diagnosed rather than the reverse. And I don't know any late-diagnosed Aspie adult who wouldn't say their life has been improved by a better understanding of " how they tick".

Here's a link to a really good checklist for early signs that may indicate autism.

http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-27158-Grand-Prairie-Autism--Parenting-Examiner~y2009m11d2-Red-flags-and-gut-feelings-What-to-do-if-you-suspect-your-child-may-have-Autism

Ahhh ... Sweet Sixteen

Sixteen years ago yesterday I had a gorgeous baby girl.

Here she is (on the right in the first pic) with her lovely friends, still as sweet as can be:

 
 

Indeed.

Actually, the piercings and the black and the spikes I can deal with. If she was a girly girl, constantly giggling on the phone about lip gloss, boys and shopping THEN I'd be at a loss for how to handle her.

She's been swotting all week and sitting her GCSEs - and ENJOYING them. Not the swotting of course but the actual exams.

I've been tutoring and trying to fight off a stomach bug courtesy of Daughter-Two. She began complaining of a sore tummy the other day, on top of the heavy cold she already had. "Nothing to worry about" I said, as I packed her off to bed. Before walking up myself in the middle of the night feeling like I was in the early stages of labour. The pain kept waking me up in the middle of vivid dreams. The only one I can remember in detail is one in which I was Mark Sainsbury (a large, mustachioed news presenter) interviewing top-less professional dogwalkers in California. Which was disturbing on many, many levels (sorry Mark).
 

The next day I felt absolutely dreadful. Not only like I was about to suffer some sort of "Alien" like stomach exploding scenario, but also with a splitting headache from lack of sleep. Fortunately both daughters were out so I decided to try the new relaxation CD I just bought. Sadly it turned out to rather naff. There I was wandering through the "secret garden where no-one expects anything of you", listening to the water gushing from a fountain .. when the Geotech engineer banged loudly on the door to tell me he had come to drill holes in my hillside.

Clearly it seems that, in this dimension or any other dimension, there is nowhere I can go where "no-one expects anything of me".

Plus I kept getting flashbacks to the dog walker scenario.

Hoping this week is better. Although The Husband has picked up Daughter-Two's cold so it's not looking too good so far. And that face paint on Daughter-One was actually food colouring which doesn't wash off ...

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Here are this week's new products at Designer Digitals:

 And the layouts:

 

 

Sin, cos, tan or insanity?

I have discovered a new version of hell. You take two people with raging PMS and force one to tutor the other in trigonometry. A great way to induce insanity. I hated Maths enough while I was at school, wthout having to force feed it to a reluctant daughter. But Daughter-One has her Maths final in a few days and she really wants to pass.

My only break from it this week was when I went to Daughter-two's sports day. It brought back memories of the brief few years when I was the athletics star at my small country school. I had forgotten all about that, and how every new person arriving at the school would be made to run against me to see if they could beat me. I never did better than third at the county championships though. It was a short-lived thing; when I shifted schools at ten my brilliant career was over. I was too shy to want to stand out and it was easier just to jog along with the rest of the PE-hating girls.

The focus is much less on winning these days it seems. At the long jump some of the kids seemed to barely grasp the concept and were just running into the sand - but they all had to get applauded. At least they all seemed to have fun. And in the age sprints there was some real competition, and a few tears when people didn't win.

Daughter-Two threw herself into it with gusto:

 
Deafened by the cheers, screams and applause I wandered home to tackle simultaneous equations with the other Daughter.

By Thursday I was desperate for a change and the arthouse cinema down the road was showing a film I wanted to see ("An Education"). Trouble was, Thursday is supermarket shopping night and the cupboards were bare. But we managed to get around the supermarket, home to unpack it and off to the movies in record time. (There was some collatoral damage - I was racing down the aisles grabbing things from my list and throwing them in the trolley while The Husband followed behind picking up the things I knocked off the shelves as I went).

The movie was great. Highly recommended (and convinced us both that the planned trip around the world after we sell this house in five years time should include a few months living in Paris).

Unforunately I didn't get any rest that night as the dog had eaten something that disagreed with him. I suspect the collar that he devoured several days previously. (The day I came back to find him sitting in the sun looking mighty pleased with himself and only an inch of collar left attached to his chain).

He woke up three times in the night whining, whimpering and panting and needing to be taken outside. Oddly enough I was the only one in the house who woke whenever he did it. Clearly, once you are a mother you never lose the knack even for an annoying member of another species.

Despite all this, I did get some work  done!  These are in store this weekend at Designer Digitals: